She Sells

Hear that song on the radio
The one stuck in your head
Itís designed to seize your mind
Youíll sing it till youíre dead
It isnít by your favorite band
Itís by a girl youíll never know
But the next time you go shopping
She will tell you where to go, Ďcause

She sells
Condos by the seashore
She sells
Machines to wax the kitchen floor
She sells
To get a slice of that big pie
But in the end she sells her soul
Because she knows thatís what they  want to buy

She gave up chasing that hit single
Why should she work so hard
When she can write one catchy jingle
And buy a house with a back yard?
The suits fill up her fan club
The boardroom is her gig
Her music plays ten times a day
She must be really big!

She sells
Condos by the seashore
She sells
The item you been looking for
She sells
To get a slice of that big pie
But in the end she sells her soul
Because she knows thatís what they  want to buy

Then she finds herself forgettiní
Why she started in the first place
Afternoons at the piano
Up on daddyís knee
First a G, yeah, now an E
Thatís the way, baby

Now itís contracts
And royalties
And thirty second spots
Donít make Ďem cry
Just make Ďem buy
And make Ďem buy a lot!

She sells
Condos by the seashore
She sells
Ointment for that open sore
She sells
To get a slice of that big pie
But she donít wanna sell herself
And so itís time to say goodbye
She sells
Mint-flavored air pollution
She sells
Advanced internet solutions
She sells
She sells
She sells

Goodbye!
Goodbye!

Version 2: (from Doug's site) Bricrui's version:

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See that person in that row

The one with hair that's red

He has a contract that's really bind

He wants to be at home instead

He was a kid just in the sand

And playin' with his toy boat

Making popcorn for the poppin'

And makin' your car wheels blow

She sells!

He makes sure that he is a bore

A bore!

She sells!

He makes sure that you close all the doors

The doors!

She sells!

He splats you in the face with a big pie

A pie!

But all the time, he's in the know

Making sure that you do say goodbye

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He listens to the same jingle

And eating can of lard, and more lard

Making sure that you stay single

But buying you a really, really nice card

He goes down to his local pub

And eat up like a pig

Then he leaves without any pay

Being really big!

She sells!

He makes sure that he is a bore

A bore!

She sells!

He makes sure that you close all the doors

The doors!

She sells!

He splats you in the face with a big pie

A pie!

But all the time, he's in the know

Making sure that you do say goodbye

Deedle deedle

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Deedle deedle

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Then he finds himself all bitten

By millions of bees at a fast pace

Running as fast a doe

Hoping to flee

Golly gee, my oh me

He can't even see

Needing contacts

Made from trees

And a dog named Spot

He always cries

But still buys

But still buys what he sought

She sells!

He makes sure that he is a bore

A bore!

She sells!

He believes every piece of rotten lore

Oh yeah

She sells!

He splats you in the face with a big pie

But he don't want to lose his health

And this time, he's gonna say goodbye!

Breathin' in all that great pollution

Drinkin' that really dirty solution

A bore!

Oh yeah!

A pie!

Oh yeah!

Goodbye!

Goodbye!